“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it. For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels: and then will he render to every man according to his works. Amen I say to you, there are some of them that stand here, that shall not taste death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.’”
Jesus then turns to His disciples, for they needed to hear the true nature of love. St. Augustine defines love not as a rush of excitement or passion, but what remains when these things settle: “A great and strong wind before the Lord overthrowing the mountains, and breaking the rocks in pieces: the Lord is not in the wind, and after the wind an earthquake: the Lord is not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire: the Lord is not in the fire, and after the fire a whistling of a gentle air” (3 Kings 19:11-12). Love is not the feeling of love, but the intertwined nature of the two that love, says the Doctor of Grace, and the losing of self in the other and for the sake of the other requires death to one’s self, sacrifice, and suffering: “I die daily, I protest by your glory, brethren, which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:31). Do you expect, Theophila, to become love incarnate just as Jesus was without denying yourself for the sake of the other constantly? Out of love for Jesus, you are called to make your soul captivatingly beautiful in His eyes: “Thou hast wounded my heart, my sister, my spouse” (Canticle 4:9), and He gives you throughout the Scriptures a full account of what is pleasing to Him: “I have longed for thy salvation, O Lord; and thy law is my meditation” (Psalm 118:174); “For amen I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one jot, one tittle shall not pass of the law, till all be fulfilled” (Matthew 5:18). Out of love for others, which stems from the love of God, you are called to set aside yourself at all times to make them leave your presence happier and more loved than when you found them: “Let your speech be always in grace seasoned with salt: that you may know how you ought to answer every man” (Colossians 4:6). It is interesting that Jesus does not lay a burden here, but an invitation, “if any man will come after me.” It is an invitation to you, Theophila, to grasp perfect love, knowing that you are called to walk hand in hand with your Beloved through rose bushes, which are both beautiful and painful, just as love is: “Many waters” of tribulation “cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it” (Canticle 8:7). There are three “states” of humanity, that of original goodness, that of fallen sinfulness, and that of redeemed love, and by putting aside yourself and your sins for the sake of love, you do not merely climb out of fallenness or even grasp again what was good, but surpass the state of Adam and Eve to become love, just as Jesus was: “Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh in its concupiscences” (Romans 13:14). You deny yourself of what is pleasurable, attention-getting, or self-inflating for the sake of what is beautiful and truly good, that you may grow in loveliness throughout your spiritual wedding on earth: “Thou art all fair, O my love, and there is not a spot in thee” (Canticle 4:7). It is not simply in bringing your body under the control of your reason: “I chastise my body, and bring it into subjection: lest perhaps, when I have preached to others, I myself should become a castaway” (1 Corinthians 9:27), but also letting your every word and action be oriented to love and beauty, leaving flowers on every heart you see and every situation you encounter: “For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:37), letting your love for God be your constant guide, even if this means a shameful, painful death, for love will die for the sake of the beloved before renouncing love. To take up one’s cross, which may be either abstinence that nothing may have mastery over you: “All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any” (1 Corinthians 6:12), or to experience the wound of compassion for another, is not sufficient, because all people suffer, with many doing it bravely. It is rather in following Jesus, doing all things with love for God and others, that gives the cross meaning, rather than arbitrarily afflicting oneself: “Afflict not thyself in thy own counsel” (Ecclesiasticus 30:22). Because the cross can be a heavy weight, He notes that whoever will lose his life for love’s sake shall find it. One exists for the sake of their greatest love, and if this is pleasure, money, work, or even another person that passes away, it is a love built on sand, for all these things wither and change, whereas God is unchanging: “God is love” (1 John 4:16). Living for oneself is saving one’s own life, closed up in one’s own ego, but living for the sake of God and others is to find the true life, a life lived on love: “Let all your things be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14), which is lived in giving oneself away. Therefore, to gain all things in the world, yet lose the love that matters is no life at all: “Learn not according to the ways of the Gentiles: and be not afraid of the signs of heaven, which the heathens fear: for the laws of the people are vain” (Jeremias 10:2-3), for love is the most fundamental need of the human person, and without it, all else is bitterness and ugliness: “For I see thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bonds of iniquity” (Acts 8:23). Then Jesus mentions, “what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” because the human soul far surpasses all worldly treasures in value: “Thou wast in the pleasures of the paradise of God: every precious stone was thy covering: the sardius, the topaz, and the jasper, the chrysolite, and the onyx, and the beryl, the sapphire, and the carbuncle, and the emerald: gold the work of thy beauty” (Ezechiel 28:13), and therefore could only be redeemed by something even more precious: “You were not redeemed with corruptible things as gold or silver, from your vain conversation of the tradition of your fathers: but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb unspotted and undefiled” (1 Peter 1:18-19). The call to take up the cross is then assuaged by the promise that Jesus would come in glory, the full glory of what the words “I Love You” entail, to those that love Him, with angels attending to those that are laboring for love, that they may help those that labor to be made like unto Jesus, that having lived the love of Jesus on earth, they may enter the eternity of love that is heaven as if they were already there: “For lo, the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). Thus, He comes to judge all according to their works and the love with which they were done, because it is not the work alone that Jesus seeks: “I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience… But I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love” (Apocalypse 2:2-4), but rather actions of love done with love. This also is meant to be a soothing balm to the Apostles, that they may not despair of the Lord’s death, but know that He would come in the glory of the Father to reward those that loved Him. Those that would not taste death until they saw the kingdom were the three that were to go with Him to Mount Tabor and see His glory, or it can refer to seeing the Church flourish, which is the glory of what divine love can do. This can also mean that those who live to understand Christ’s merciful love will then be able to move into the Old Testament and see the divine love story, letting love lead them by the hand into the Historical, Prophetic, and Wisdom literature and enjoy the majesty that these contain, which those that have a cursory understanding of God and His ways have much more difficulty comprehending. Love, however, pervades all of Sacred Scripture, and the Divine Bridegroom is eager to speak to you through them, that you may know His unfathomable love for you: “Behold my beloved speaketh to me” (Canticle 2:10).