“And going a little further, he fell upon his face, praying, and saying: ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me. Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.’ And he cometh to his disciples, and findeth them asleep, and he saith to Peter: ‘What? Could you not watch one hour with me? Watch ye, and pray that ye enter not into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh weak.’ Again the second time, he went and prayed, saying ‘My father, if this chalice may not pass away, but I must drink it, thy will be done.’ And he cometh again, and findeth them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And leaving them, he went again: and he prayed the third time, saying the selfsame word. Then he cometh to his disciples, and said to them: ‘Sleep ye now and take your rest; behold the hour is at hand, and the Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us go: behold he is at hand that will betray me.’”
Jesus goes and prostrates Himself before the Father, abandoning Himself to His will, not trying to direct the Father and promising things like St. Peter: “Why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thee” (John 13:37). So too is it good to hold the hand of the Father, Jesus, or Mary throughout your day, letting yourself work lightly with your heart wrapped in devotion, like a child going happily through the day directed by their parents, enjoying the beautiful time together: “Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called, and should be the sons of God” (1 John 3:1). To pull yourself from their hands and run off is to invite trouble, but to be led into the beautiful things they desire for you is to live a deeply spiritual life: “I will give thee understanding, and I will instruct thee in this way, in which thou shalt go” (Psalm 31:8). To afflict yourself is not the way of a lover: “Afflict not thyself in thy own counsel” (Ecclesiasticus 30:22), but rather to put aside all that does not make your heart sing sweet hymns to your beloved, letting yourself be swept along in life through love: “I say then, walk in the spirit” (Galatians 5:16) is to walk joyfully in love. However, this may lead through thickets and brambles, and the lover does not go around these, but with hand joined to the beloved’s hand, walks bravely through the trials brought upon them: “When thou shalt pass through the waters, I will be with thee” (Isaias 43:2). Now, if there was a way to prove the depths of God’s love without the Passion, it would have been done, but by letting love alone uphold Him through the horrors of what He endured, He showed the unwavering nature of His love: “[Love] beareth all things” (1 Corinthians 13:8). He also prays this in your place, Theophila, knowing that it is hard not to buckle beneath the afflictions of life, and He can sympathize with your sufferings when you find yourself before the crucible of affliction: “And all mount Sinai was on a smoke: because the Lord was come down upon it in fire, and the smoke arose from it as out of a furnace: and all the mount was terrible… And he called Moses unto the top thereof” (Exodus 19:18-20). The Father’s will, then, is for the strength of love to pass from Jesus to you, that you may overcome the antics of the devil, that you too may say, “Thy will be done,” when hatred, temptation, and all that would break apart your love swirls around you: “And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that the ship was filled” (Mark 4:37). Now, when Jesus goes forward by a bit, the Apostles quickly give into sleep, and so too is it important to keep Him near in your thoughts at all times, filling your mind with His love, that you may be overwhelmed with love and watchfulness becomes not a command but natural: “In my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loveth” (Canticle 3:1). St. Peter had most intently boasted that he would not fall away from Christ, and immediately falls into weariness, rather than staying with the Bridegroom of his soul in His hour of affliction. His followers had said they would die with Him, but do not stay with Him in His time of need; so too, Theophila, is the grand design that is dreamed of less import than simply being faithful to times of prayer, to stay by Him in little things and in these times, that He may always find you at His side: “Who is this that cometh up from the desert, flowing with delights, leaning upon her beloved?” (Canticle 8:5). Jesus then exhorts them to watch and pray, because to wrap your life and the world in prayer is necessary, for filling your heart with love will keep the jabs of the enemy from having any appeal, and by being close to your Beloved and His ways, you may identify what Origen calls “dark doctrine” and avoid the snares of the enemy: “They dug a pit before my face, and they are fallen into it” (Psalm 56:7). While temptations will inevitably arise, it is important to be so in love that you could not fathom doing something to wound the heart of your Beloved, for it is sin that drives the spear that pierces His Heart: “But one of the soldiers with a spear opened his side” (John 19:34). It is not what you believe that you can do, for you cannot force love, and God knows your limits better than you do, therefore, let yourself be guided by righteousness, counsel, and inspirations from prayer and the aforementioned attentiveness to any of the divine persons or saints, and humbly accept when you are turned from something, for you are being protected from what you may not realize is harmful for you: “Turn ye to me, saith the Lord of hosts: and I will turn to you, saith the Lord of hosts” (Zacharias 1:3). The more you grow in love and righteousness, the more careful and attentive you must be, for the venial sin of a spouse of God can be more painful to the Sacred Heart than a mortal sin from one that has never particularly cared, for the one that has drunk deeply of the love of God and knows His goodness: “A land of wheat, and barley, and vineyards, wherein fig trees and pomegranates, and oliveyards grow: a land of oil and honey. Where without any want thou shalt eat thy bread, and enjoy abundance of all things: where the stones are iron, and out of its hills are dug mines of brass: that when thou hast eaten, and art full, thou mayst bless the Lord thy God for the excellent land which he hath given thee” (Deuteronomy 8:8-10), should be more entranced by love and hold more fastidiously to this love, for great is the fall of the bride that is toppled: “But trusting in thy beauty, thou playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and thou hast prostituted thyself to every passenger, to be his” (Ezechiel 16:15). Jesus then returns to His prayer, overwhelmed by the distress of how little people would count His eternal sacrifice, but consoled, Theophila, by you and your love, for just as a parent is strengthened while in the depths of the struggles of life when their child does something to show their gratitude and love, so too does Jesus see your every little act of love with a deep appreciation: “God loveth a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). The eyes of the disciples draw heavy, and they cannot stay awake, because the Holy Spirit had not been given to them; without the burning heart of love, it is impossible for you to be vigilant and live the Christian life to its fullest demands: “As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me” (John 15:4), thus, pray for the gift of the Holy Spirit, that you may be swept up in love and be the love that the Church and the world need: “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father from heaven give the good Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:13). Do not wait for others to step up, Theophila, but imitate your Savior, and be fervent, loving much, praying much, doing much, but all with a harmonious rather than agitated and excited mind: “Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid” (John 14:27). Now, there is a mystery in Jesus’ threefold prayer, first that He prays for your past, present, and future, that what is past may be handed to Him: “He will put away our iniquities: and he will cast all our sins into the bottom of the sea” (Micheas 7:19), in the present you may be aware of His merciful love, that love is within you, around you, upholding you, speaking sweet words to you like the wind: “Thou art beautiful, O my love, sweet and comely as Jerusalem” (Canticle 6:3), and that rather than worrying about the future, you may instead enjoy the love that is in the present: “Behold, now you that say: ‘To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and there we will spend a year, and will traffic, and make our gain.’ Whereas you know now what shall be on the morrow” (James 4:13-14). Or, it can be that it is good to make your prayer Trinitarian, praying to the Father in the Holy Spirit in persona Christi: “But you, my beloved, building yourselves upon your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost” (Jude 1:20), or addressing every person in the Trinity: “When he had lifted up his eyes, there appeared to him three men standing near him: and as soon as he saw them he ran to meet them from the door of his tent, and adored down to the ground” (Genesis 18:2). He then comes to His disciples, He bids them to take their rest, because the coming horrors would be more than they could bear, and rather than acting, they would need time simply to grieve: “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). There can also be a lesson in this exhortation to rest, Theophila, that you cannot keep your bow pulled at all times, because you will wear yourself out, but joyful rest and mirth is itself a virtue that keeps you fresh: “I commended mirth, because there was no good for a man under the sun, but to eat, and drink, and be merry” (Ecclesiastes 8:15). It is also a look into the three appearances of the Lord after His resurrection, at the first He rebukes them for their unbelief, typified by His first visit, wherein He rebukes them for not watching: “He upbraided them with their incredulity and hardness of heart, because they did not believe them who had seen him after he was risen again” (Mark 16:14), in the second, when they are heavy with uncertainty after His Ascension, He says nothing, but gives them the Holy Spirit: “And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a mighty wind coming, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting” (Acts 2:2), the third, which is His welcoming them into the heavenly kingdom, they are to enter the rest of perfect love: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and death shall be no more, nor mourning, nor crying, nor sorrow shall be any more, for the former things are passed away” (Apocalypse 21:4). After a short interval, where He looks upon His beloved Apostles, too fragile to be vigilant with Him with love, and lets His Heart drink deep of the sight of them before going to His Passion. He then sees, by His divine wisdom, Judas coming, wherein He will be handed over to those that wanted to destroy Him. Consider, Theophila, the great humility of Jesus, who gives the gift of Himself to all that would come to Him, including those who would tear apart His image in their souls by malice and sin: “I will sanctify my great name, which was profaned among the Gentiles, which you have profaned in the midst of them” (Ezechiel 36:23). He refuses His Heart to no one, including those who would abuse His love: “He will not deprive of good things them that walk in innocence: O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee” (Psalm 83:13), so reckless and abounding is His love. He bids them to arise, that they may not be seen to be trembling and afraid, but by clinging to their Master, may be strengthened, and so too, Theophila, does a constant thought towards Jesus give you the strength of heart to walk through your every day: “My eyes are ever towards the Lord” (Psalm 24:15).